The economy affects all aspects of life and, therefore, also the love relationship. It mainly influences several aspects:
1. In making decisions.
In our society, whoever has the money is the one who decides, although in normal circumstances the roles can be divided and each member of the couple specializes in different areas, for example, one takes care of the house expenses, another the car, holidays are mainly assigned to one of them, etc. But, finally, whoever has the source of the money has the ultimate power of decision.
2. In the way of sharing life.
The couple is a social unit and as such must have its own well-established economy. That there is money in common and decisions are made about it together and by consensus is a fundamental element in the functioning of the couple. How that money is contributed in common depends on the characteristics of each couple.
It should not be forgotten that, even in the separation of property regime, each member of the marriage has the obligation to contribute to the couple's finances in proportion to their income. An important difference between the separation of property and the community property regime is that the gains from each of the private property are yours and you do not have to ask the other for any permission to do with them what you want, that is, the separation of property It gives the parties an independence in the management of their assets, which does not exist in the community property regime.
You have to be careful with the differences between the goods of one and another when they are important. If the difference is very large, in the separation of property, the "poor" member of the couple may feel "grateful" to the other for their generosity. Thus the economic relationship remains clear and explicit. In the case of community property, the one who earns the most “gives away” the difference to the other and does so implicitly, the “poor person” is entitled to half of the income.
When the differences are not very great, the regime only influences the way of sharing life.
The important thing is to make the economic relations between the members of the couple very clear, explicit and legally supported, because, if things go well in the couple, there is no problem; but if they go wrong, many troubles are avoided.
Economic relationships can be the source of problems, which arise when one member feels that the other is abusing. For example, a common theme. It works in separation of goods. One has bought an apartment before being in a couple and living together, finances in common are inevitable and, if one pays for food so that the other pays for the apartment…. When the one who does not own the apartment realises that he is actually helping the other to pay for the apartment, arguments can arise.
If it is perceived that it is “doing wrong”, what is the best way to redirect the situation?
Communication and generosity. Economic relationships have to be very clear, legally supported and balanced so that no one feels cheated or abused. But within that philosophy, to live in common, you have to be generous with the other, you cannot be measuring to the minimum what each one contributes.
Are there studies that link financial problems with divorce?
There are studies that show that spending money irresponsibly increases the chances of divorce clearly.
Where the economy takes a full role is precisely at the time of separation. In those moments, it is possible to make hasty decisions and, in the long run, very harmful, driven by the desire to end a very painful relationship or vice versa, it is about ruining the other to get revenge.
What do you think is the most common financial regime among marriages and domestic partners today?
In DE fact couples, the regime is equivalent to the separation of property, because it is not usually agreed upon and often not even made explicit. Most of the marriages accept the economic system that exists by default in the place where they are married, in Spain it is joint property except in Catalonia and the Balearic Islands, which is in separation of property.
What factors make the differences? Does it have to do with whether she earns more or less than him, the cultural level, if it is a second marriage, if they are gay, if there are previous children, etc.?
In each couple, the most suitable economic regime depends on their particular situation. Currently many couples are formed with a limited vision of the future: "while it lasts" or "as long as I feel that for you"; therefore, the economic relations are raised in such a way that the separation is easier.
Couples who have children from previous marriages usually clearly consider the economic aspects, to safeguard the rights of the children prior to the formation of the couple. So you have to be very careful so that the other does not think that he is financing children who are not his and with whom, sometimes, it is difficult to get along.
As a problem to note is that, sometimes, they forget the importance of having a common economy in the couple, with whatever regime.
Doesn't agreeing an economic per-agreement put love into question?
Surely many people think that way; but marriage, socially, is a contract between two people in which the economic agreement is fundamental. It is also a collaboration and delivery agreement between each other, which is reflected in the way of managing finances. Now money is an unpleasant subject and, therefore, many avoid talking about it. Make an agreement Clarifying it can prevent future problems.
What would be the most practical way to manage money, control expenses?
It depends on the abilities of each one. Formerly it was the woman who managed the money and the man who earned it; but currently this is no longer the case: there may be a division of functions, in this respect as in many others: a member of the couple takes care of a particular aspect, because they like it, because of responsibility or simply because they do not hate it.
Tips and other considerations
My advice is that, whatever the economic tuition that best suits the couple, it is advisable that it be explicit, clear and legally based.
Another tip is to have a common finance. Because saying "I pay for this" and "you pay for this", at all times, can lead to problems if imbalances occur and agreeing on common finances is a means to avoid them.
It is also interesting to set longer-term financial goals, although you must always keep your feet on the ground and know that they cannot always be met.
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